Are you easily irritated by the actions of others? Or perhaps you believe it is someone else’s fault that you are miserable in life?
Both of these attitudes are harmful and will only serve to pull you down. To find happiness in life, you must first recognize that you, and only you, are accountable for it, and you must modify your thinking in order to do so.
Happiness, while an emotion, is also a state of mind, according to Raj Raghunathan Ph.D. So, in order to achieve
happiness, one must first train their minds to see the world differently.
Look for the Positive
He sees that most people do not believe they can be happy regardless of their circumstances, and he believes that this is the first thing that needs to be changed. One strategy to address this is to make a personal pact with yourself to look for the positive in every scenario. Once you’ve mastered this, you’ll be able to look back on even the darkest memories with thankfulness.
This method can also be used on memories that you have already labeled as negative. Instead of looking back with regret, make a deal with yourself to bring up negative memories while attempting to see them in a different, or positive, light. This way, you won’t find yourself harboring resentment, regret, or disdain. You will then feel much lighter emotionally, and you will be able to focus on happiness rather than the sad feelings that are weighing you down.
Happiness takes Practice
It takes practice, just like anything else in life, to learn to control your emotions. Even if you believe you have established this control, it is very easy to forget and revert to your old habits; this is why you must maintain regular check-ins and practice your emotional control. You must also accept challenges in order to strengthen this control.
So, if you’re going to use the above exercise, start with a memory that causes you only mild regret. Then, once you’ve mastered turning that into something positive, conquer a memory that causes you to have a strong dislike for someone. Continue to raise the stakes until you are finally ready to learn to control your emotional response when confronted with a life-altering bad memory. Although this may appear to be a difficult task now, once you arrive, you will discover that it is quite simple to complete.
Learning to manage how you think about your memories may not appear to be a big achievement, but our emotional responses to memories and the present are similar. You’ll see that once you’ve rewired your brain to only perceive the positive in the past, you’ll notice that you only see the good in the present as well. This also applies to persons.
Change your Perception
Everyone has some negative characteristics, but if you concentrate on the positive ones that people possess, you will ultimately lose sight of the negative ones. Now that you have control over your emotions, both past, and present, you will notice that what other people do or say has no bearing on your happiness since you know you are the one who is responsible for it.
This process of altering your perceptions of not only your memories but also life as it passes before your eyes, is entirely under your control, making you solely responsible for your own happiness.
It’s time to get off the couch and start working on your own happiness right now.
You can start by downloading our FREE Personal Wellness Plan. This workbook will help you take an honest account of your life, as it currently stands, and start you on the journey to self-improvement.
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